Sweetpea's Dish

Christmas...bah humbug.

2010-12-12T21:04:00.000-08:00

I have a few minutes today...about 12 to be exact. I'm power backing pre-fab cookies. You know, the ones you buy in a box from the school fund raisers and just toss them on the pan and bake.
Ya, I loooove those ones! about 10 minutes left now, so today I took the kid to see Tangled, that was an awesome movie. then we went and got Tom his Christmas present, a couple new ornaments for the tree and slammed a few trays of pre-fabs into the oven. Made a variety of cookies, choco chip, Blondies, Craisin pecan, macadamia nut and choco chip, shortbread with melted chocolate on top...hmmm the house smells yum.ee.

Closing in on the end of Christmas shopping, Christmas card out in the mail, special Christmas presents getting made....no, I'm not telling...hinting at the bling I would be honored to receive this Christmas....and happy that I don't have to cook Christmas dinner, OK. I never have to cook Christmas dinner cuz Tom does that. I know, I'm a lucky bitch...

Looks like I'm down to 6 minutes...

I here the bedtime instructions being bellowed from afar, but not far enough. "Brush your teeth, Go pee, Get your PJ's on!!" "Now"... ahh, serenity at last. Now some me time and a couple movies before I have to get back into school mode. Open book in the morning and final on Wed... Only a month and a half left.... its gone by really fast and I'm having a good time. I feel good about going back to school.

All the dumbass losers who have given me a hard time about going back to school; Well, they can kiss my big white edjumucated ass. I'm not going to be stuck without a back up plan. ooh. There goes the dinger thingy on the baker thingyjig. that means the pre-fabs are done. Gotta go and slap 'em into a boxy thingy.

Here's wishing that Santa is good to you and there's something shiny and expensive under the tree or in your stocking this year!

Have a fantastic Christmas, and New Year!!!

Merry Christmas you two!

Why I believe in Santa Clause

2010-11-21T17:58:00.000-08:00

This is an assignment that I have to read in front of my law class tomorrow. I thought that it might interest one of the two of you that read my blog...

Merry Christmas and step. away. from the fruitcake!

Why I believe in Santa Clause, by Jennifer Dether

In Ancient Egypt, they believed in a God/Man Savior named Osiris, who died on December 21. In Ancient Rome they believed in the festival of Saturnalia celebrating the planet Saturn. In Ancient Greece’ they believed in the winter solstice ritual of “The Festival of the Wild Woman” which involved the sacrificing of goats. In Buddhism, they believe that the Buddha achieved enlightenment under a tree because he pondered the ignorant hardships of man for 8 days prior to the Sunday nearest December 8. In Christianity they believe in the virgin birth of Jesus, the Savior of the world. In Druidism, they believe in magic and transformation through the death of the old sun and the birth of the dark side of the year. In Neopaganism or Wicca they believe in the ritual that celebrates the ancient Celtic beliefs of the changing of the seasons.

These are only a few of the many different holiday beliefs throughout the world. Although I find credibility and interest in a few and one that I stand firm on, I do forever believe that Santa is real. I know it because every year I hear the sleigh bell over the roof. And every year, I see my daughters face light up with glee and delight at all the lights and sounds of Christmas. I believe for her and I believe for me. And I believe for the simple fact that I can.

Santa Clause is the embodiment of all that is joyous and fun and believing in him is easy. He doesn’t expect us to sit under a tree and ponder the wayward path of man, or dance naked in the woods, or kill tennis shoe eating goats. Santa only asks that we try to be good little kids all year round and if we are, then we wake up one wintry hot chocolaty morning to find our living room filled with goodies and a pancake breakfast with bacon on the dining room table.

If one by one we stop believing in Santa, then bit by bit, he will lose his Christmas magic. If we believe in Santa, he is real. It is the belief in him that makes him real.

Keeping that belief as an adult is hard because of the mocking and ridicule from non believers. So as a family we do things that make believing in Santa easier for us. One of the things we do to make our Christmas special is decorating as early as Tom will allow. Kendra and I sometimes make cheap ass cookies and then we immediately eat them all leaving the broken ones for Tom. Every year I get a ginger bread house for Kendra and me to decorate. So that it can sit regally on the dining room table getting picked at until it’s too hard to eat and all the good stuff is gone. Then we unceremoniously huck it in the garbage can; usually with someone yelling “Oh wait!! There’s a smartie!” Tom sets up the tree in the fireplace corner and Kendra and I put on all the glitter and baubles. There is a story for every decoration and every year I tell that story to her again as we hang them on the tree. Then on Christmas Eve, we put out a plate of cookies and carrots and a big glass of milk for Santa.

And of course, every year I tell my favorite Christmas joke. Repeatedly. “Did you know there was a fourth wise man? Yep. He was turned away for bringing fruitcake.”

Merry Christmas Everyone and Happy Holidays!

JeniKen's Jewels

2010-08-15T13:34:00.000-07:00

Here is my brand spankin' new website. It's so new that there isn't anything on it yet!

jenikensjewels.webs.com

When I'm done, you will find everyday, every wear jewelry. Priced to sell, starting from $15.00 each.

Stuff that you can buy for your kids, and stuff that you can wear with your jeans, shorts and tanks, beach outfit, or nothing at all......

Easy going, sometimes edgy, but always everyday.

Available to you online or at home. I will be branching out to HomeParties, Farmers Markets and mall kiosks.

Christmas is coming, and I will be up and running full steam ahead! I am building my merchandise so if you would like anything before then, send me a message or email and we'll go from there!

Looking forward to Bringin' the Bling!

Jennifer

Unemployed in Greenland????

2010-08-09T18:01:00.000-07:00

Too bad there aren't any short, crazy Sicilian's running around yelling "Inconceivable!".
'Cuz I could really use a job.

I've been off since March with a bum shoulder, but the reality is, my days as a journeyman mailer are numbered....and I'm thinking 1 or 2 years....if a miracle occurs.

I had amp'ed myself up today and spent the last 3 hours online looking at workopolis.ca and wowjobs.ca and anything I could look at, including this thing about working from home making money online....hmmm. Right. It seemed pretty legit until you go to fill out the form and find that you need your credit card to pay $49.95 US to some guy named Richard Allan. Who will send you a packet and DVD's the very next day via FEDEX so you can get to earning your $1000.00 or more per week!!!
So, needless to say, I did not order the packet cuz I need my $49.95 to buy gas...and I'm thinking how I can go about getting people to give me $49.95....

Still thinking....

Um...

Got nothing, well, nothing ethical anyway, and therein lies the rub. I have morals. Integrity. Honor.
I can't just create something that'll have international suckers handing me money with their eyes wide shut. How would I sleep at night?

The bottom line is, I'm S.O.L. and at 40 years of age, it's not going to be easy finding another career. My husband is probably not going to be able to work again and that makes me the bread winner, the bacon bringer, the cheddar chaser.

What to do, what to do?

I'm not really crafty, so I can't knit an afghan or tat a table cloth to sell at a craft fair. I don't care if you buy a certain product, get the one that works for you. So I'll never be in sales. My ass is too big to be hanging down on Davie St. and um, eew, and other peoples kids should be tended to by other people. So, daycare is out. WAY out.

The fact that I have even given these options slight consideration speaks to my desperation.

I'd like to get into tourism, maybe be a travel agent. Maybe I could be a dental hygienist. All this takes education, which I would have to touch up on, and that takes money. Which I don't have.

I could probably make and sell cheap ass jewelry online thru this blog, but my mom makes beautiful stuff and I think that might be an issue...maybe, maybe not.

Either way, I'm going to have to come up with something, because, the end of the tunnel is near, but there ain't no light.

Somewhere, there is a solution, but I think I have the wrong map, cuz, there ain't no treasure where I'm digging and I'm running out of fuel, energy, and lives....

I'll do what I can for now, and that includes getting off my ass and making dinner tonight.

What was it that Vissini said? Go back to the beginning? Well, I am at the beginning. So save your Ho there!

Inconceivable!

Twitter-bug?!?!?!

2010-05-27T15:49:00.000-07:00

OK, so I've been bitten by the Twitter Bug.

I know, I know, and yes, I 'follow' the gang, Ellen, Ashton, Family Circle, I am awaiting with baited breath for the very next thing that doll face Ashton thumbs into his cell....Not only do I have SOOOOO much time on my hands but now, I can fill it with the mundane and jovial rantings of the rich and famous.

As for me, I am turning in a new direction. I have made a commitment to my body that I will not be that 400lb woman that is trucked into the local ER cuz I got a hernia looking for the waffle that I dropped.

Just for the record, I don't like waffles.

Anyway, I have started on a new path of most resistance and look forward to the day that I can run with my daughter and not have the richter scale sending out SOS's to the powers that be, y'know, them, that are they.

I am not going to put my current poundage here, suffice it to say I'm prob'ly bigger'n you.

I can tell that I have already off loaded a couple of roasts and maybe a loaf of Italian bread, So, things are looking Outstanding. Woo Hoot for me!!!

I love that things may be changing in various aspects of my life. and as they do, I'll be sure to blather on and on about them. Hopefully, by taking charge of my life, it will influence someone else to do the same for themselves.

That's all for today 'cuz I've got weight to toss, people to see, money to spend and places to be!

Until next time!!!

Without the sticky...

2010-02-22T22:52:00.000-08:00

I'm back again for another dose of who the hell cares.

Today I woke up, could hardly move, my body was so sore. Tom bought one of those memory foam mattress covers, because, you know, he has a bad back.

If you LOVE LOVE LOVE a soft, sink till you smother yourself bed, then memory foam is for you. If, however, you are like me and you LOVE LOVE LOVE a firmer 'terrafirma' on which to lay your weary head then DO NOT I repeat DO NOT buy the memory foam mattress topper thingy.

Ever see a beached whale try to flip itself over? No? Well, close your eyes and imagine; Soft brown sand, wavy ocean, struggling fat ass whale grunting and swearing in the futile effort to roll over.... There, see it? Ya, well, put my face on it and you've got the whole sordid picture now.

I really can't express how *$&p;Q#@* frustrating it is to move into any *$@$@#&; position while laying on that damn thing.

It was like being stuck in a huge wad of gum without the sticky and just trying to get my arm under myself to push up...in-freekin-possible. To roll over I had to put my hands under my well endowed ass, hold my breath, count to 3 or 5 or 10...and shove with all that I could muster at Damn o'clock in the morning.

Sitting up now, I have to swing my ass left/right, but each ass cheek is firmly molded to the freekin mattress and every time I move I just "WEDGE" (that's right, I said it!) my ass into the memory foam further. Seriously, WHO the HELL needs an imprint of their ass wedged into MEMORY foam? EVER! I'd like to forget my ass, thank you very much.

Anyway, so now I'm on the other side (of hell) and my PJ's are all twisted around me and I'm thinking, "Is it really worth all the aggravation of getting up and settling myself again?" Sure, I'll give it a go, cuz I REALLY HATE my clothes twisted all up.

Swear, push, grunt, up. Twist, twist, climb, lay down.....swear, send evil glare towards snoring husband, look up at the ceiling, remember that I wanted to be on MY RIGHT SIDE!!!!! a n d swear a whole lot more.

Throw minor silent temper tantrum and eventually fall asleep. Just in time to be woken up by the kid. Excellent. Now I have to move over... ya right...foot push one of the dogs for some space, give the kid pillow room, make sure kid is not jamming her size 12's into hubby's back, watch said kid swiftly fall into blissful REM sleep and contemplate the pro's and con's of climbing up into her loft bed....ya, um, n e v e r going to happen.

So I lay there, and lay there, listening to the sounds of night time delight....did you know that a pug can snore so bloody loud that that bed will actually vibrate? In tandem. With the snoring. Incessantly. It'll go on and on and on and on and on. You can't wake a pug either. No way. I've tried EVERY thing-short of smothering her with a pillow......that's reserved for someone special...you know who you are.

Right now I am trying to decide if I should go to bed, or stay up all night to avoid the inevitable struggle with that damn mattress thing.

What to do, what to do.......

Looked at this web site mom emailed me today, thepioneerwomancooks.com. I think that tomorrow I'm going to make this chicks apple dumplings. Never had those before. Not to keen on the Mountain dew part tho...

I'll let you all know how they turned out. It's got mountain dew in the recipe, so I don't think I could screw them up...much...

OK, here goes....off to freekin never never land....

Who the hell has the time???

2010-02-21T00:10:00.000-08:00

Spend the entire day baking? Right. I read the blog of a past friend, we don't really keep in touch anymore, but I really enjoyed the friendship we had.

Anyway, she has a tribe full of children and a full time life yet still manages to spend the day baking with her kids. Does she have a maid? A secret little army of genies that give her more hours than I have?

Grrr. I am not bitter, I am amazed. There must be a sacrifice in there somewhere...her looks? No, she's gorgeous, her hair? Nope, Looks good to me. Her sex life? Ermmm, still popping out kids, so I'm thinking, no.

How does she do it? Not only does she bake and cook but the recipes are not of a 'normal' nature. Some of her kids have allergies and the family is very health conscience so they eat a lot of vegan and organic stuff.

I used to think I wasn't a great mom because I would compare myself to her and all that she does, but then I decided to assess my situation in relation to hers.

1) Her kids are older and can do more on their own.
2) Her husband doesn't have a full time disability.
3) She doesn't work graveyard shift.
4) She has lots of family near that can come by and lend a hand.
5) Her life is completely different than mine, and not at all comparable.

So this was my conclusion.

I am a great mom, a great wife, and a great employee. I have time enough to spend with my kid, take the dogs for a walk, hang with the hubby, throw something together for dinner, get some laundry done and run the vacuum over the floor. If the shirts don't get hung up, well, they don't get hung up. If dinner involves the phone and a menu, then so what, more time for the family. If having a date with my husband involves an old movie, bowl of pop corn and the remote, then all the better for me, I don't have to get out of my PJ's.

My life isn't ever going to be that of a stay home mom. Our circumstances dictate that I will be the one 'bringing home the paycheck'. As a result, our daughter has been very blessed in that she has grown up with Dad around, more than the average kid. Yes, it sucks that Tom has a bad back, but in the same respect, it doesn't suck that he is home all the time.

So, all the moms out there that get to stay home and bake umpteen loaves of bread and trays upon trays of cookies, I salute you on equal ground. My island has different paths, but it's still in the middle of the ocean.

On the rare occasion that I have any free time to myself, I am usually here, on the computer. I'm not really into 'spa days' and all that self pampering stuff. If I want pink toes, Kendra and I will get out the 'toebox' and rummage around for the colors we want and spend some time watching Harry and his bucket full of Dinosaurs and painting each others toes. Much more rewarding than spending $80.00 in a salon all by myself...but of course, if Tom gets me a gift certificate, then I'll use it...

I hear people talk all the time about 'me time', "mommy time', 'take care of yourself first'...blah, blah, blah. I would much rather be with my family than all by myself staring at the ceiling in the tub till the water gets cold. I really like my husband. So, for me, 'mommy time', 'me time' taking care of myself time', its all in surrounding myself with my family.

I think that as much as I complain about 3 dogs and a cat being on the bed with us during a family movie night, I don't think I'd change it. (OK, maybe not the dog hair part...) Being surrounded by love is the best 'me time' there is.

So, tomorrow, I think I'll pull a box of pre-fab cookies out of the freezer and Kendra can put them on the tray. While she's doing that, I'll go kiss my husband, feed the pug, and hang up the jacket on the exercise bike, all in time to toss the tray into the oven and hang with the kid.

Stay tuned for more riveting updates in the never ending saga of the life of Jennifer. Will she bring out the bread maker? or will she make a mad dash for the nearest bakery?

I'll tell you what, THE 2 OF YOU THAT ARE ACTUALLY reading this, YOU decide and get your friends in on this too. If I get 20 people to tell me if they want me to bake a loaf of bread or buy it, then I'll do the majority, and I'll blog about it and even post pictures. I know, I know, I need more 'mommy time'....
Hey, It's something to do right? Next time it might be more interesting, maybe even more daring......
C'mon, aren't you even just a little bit curious??????

Olympics: Good or Bad?

2010-02-18T00:01:00.000-08:00

Politics, propaganda, payload, party. The 2010 Vancouver Olympics has it all.

If you are an avid sports fan, like my husband, then you are most likely going to be tuned into every possible Olympic sport your fat little thumb can enter on the remote. If you're one of the "lucky" ones that bought a ticket and can still attend the event, well good for you. Seriously

I have been a non vocal, quiet protester of the Olympics from the moment the bid was put in. I could see that there wasn't a deep well of financial support for all the venues, buildings, shows, glitches and foreign employees. Not to mention the art (cost) of conjuring snow.

OK, so, we'll bring in a little revenue for a couple of weeks.....or will we? Already Whistler is citing a 40% loss in buisiness, VANOC and the IOC have somehow managed to 'block' 500 or so seats to main Hockey events that remain emtpy. Um...why?

Newspapers and newscasts all over the globe are calling the 2010 Olympics a fiasco. Not only did they start out with a dreadful tragedy, (my condolences to the family), but it now seems as though every time there is a news report, something has gone amiss. Mud in the standing area, buses breaking down, Zambonies pock marking the ice, snow melting and turning to slush.

Sure, we can't dictate ordinances to Mother Nature, we can't control freak accidents, mud and rain, but surely, we can control the hiring of Americans to do Canadian jobs right? Can we fill up those 500 empty seats? Sure! I know 3 people right here who would snap those tickets up in a second!

But here in lies the rub, we, the tax payer, THE OLYMPIC FUNDERS, have absolutely NO say in what VANOC or the IOC decides to do during these Olympic games.

A thought just occurred to me, will I be fined, jailed, pursecuted, repremanded and branded an infidel for using the word 'Olympic(s)' without written, paid for permission from the IOC?
oooh tremble, tremble...

Democracy? What's that? Oh yes, I remember, isnt that when you let forgeiners into your country and then thank them for changing everything including our national anthem, hiring outside the confines of our legislated boundaries, and then give them MORE money to do so?

Ya, I don't recall learning that in school....

When all is said and done, my 6 year old will have the rest of her life to pay for irresponsible decisions, hopefully many of them will not be her own.

Up until last Sunday night, I had Boo'd and Poo Poo'd the Olympics, then on our way home from my parents place, we took a detour through Richmond and drove past the Richmond O Zone. There were at least 2000 people there that I could see, waving little paper Canadian flags, wearing temporary tatoo's on their cheeks and garbed in all sorts of red and white Olympic apparel.

As I listened to my little girl ooh and ahh over what she thought were the Olympic games, I realized that amid all my bitching and whining, I was depriving her of a once in a lifetime experience. She reminded me that we are hosting a great big huge party to the world.

Today, I went out and bought a couple of those Canadian flags that attach to the windows of the car. Not because of the Olympics, (well, maybe a smidge) but because I am a Canadian and I am proud to be one, moreover, i am lucky to be one. I am not defined by my politeness, I am not defined by my country of birth. I am defined by the choices I make, the beliefs I have and the way in which I express them. I have chosen to be a proud Canadian, and I decided to show it.

I still have concerns about our financial future and the ramifications of it, but today, I am going to enjoy the party, Wanna Come?

Why not make the most of it? take the kid to the O Zone and have some over priced lukewarm greasy food and some fun. Isn't that what we do every year at the PNE?

Who knows, maybe, she'll have a gold metal memory to tell her grand-kids. What a lifetime that would be, Eh?

A Long Time Gone.....

2009-09-11T22:28:00.000-07:00

So....It's been a long, long, long, long long time since I've rambled on about my ever increasing exciting life.
Oh wait, that's not me, that's someone else.....

Here's the low down and dirty. I was officially laid off on September 1st, 2009. some highly intellectual being somewhere up in the higher uppity ups, decided that they would save a whole shit load of $$$$ if they cut back 31 and 13 people over 6 months. Problem being, there's still the same amount of work to be done by the same people, but now we're not called the same as before.
I may eventually get only 3 days a week but its better than a kick in the ass with a sharp boot.

I'm muddling thru any hows. went in and changed the outflow of money and took my wonderful truck back, dammit. but, I am muddling thru.

So my kids gonna be 6 in a couple of weeks. Holy crap on a stick! where THE HELL DID THE TIME GO?
She's just growing up way too fast! It's just not right. First week of full days of school so that's a plus...but I'm noticing that I miss her annoying me through out the day.

I am still working nights so, I need to sleep in but, I still like having my kid around....

Well, I think I've run out of time and things to say, so, I'll sign off for now and I'll try to post more drivel more often....lucky you, you person with no life....Seriously, you cant get to a library??

Nora Diamond

2009-03-22T22:30:00.000-07:00

Last week I went to the wake of Nora Diamond. My Grandmother, she was never called Grandmother, she was called Granny. Granny wasn't a cookie baker, a blanket knitter or a flower planter. She never nodded in agreement when she disagreed with you, she never coddled you when the truth would do and she never said 'why me'.
Granny wasn't born with a silver spoon in her mouth, in fact, she probably had to work for her first spoon. She was a hard worker and valued hard work. Granny new that integrity and honor were your core and if you sacrificed one you didn't value the other.
Granny was a strong woman and may even have appeared to be a hard woman. Maybe she was both, but you find me any woman who raised 6 children to adult hood by herself after saying good bye to 3 and she's going to be a little tough.
She married at 26 and had 9 children within 12 years. she fed, clothed, educated, guided, reared, loved, and prayed earnestly for them all. Granny did not have an easy life, living in Belfast was far from luxury living and hand to mouth was the way of it. In the worst of her life, Granny never gave up her faith in God, in fact, some of my strength in faith comes from her.
She had 6 living children, William, Colum, Mary, Gerard, Anthony, and Brendan, the 3 that she is reminiscing with today are Ethna, Patrick, and Finian.
She brought her 6 children to Canada in the mid 50's and there they flourished. They found wives and a husband and began lives of their own, and as with all families, they made their own ways. They had children and Granny loved and rejoiced in each one. Whether we were close by or 3000 miles away, she passed on to each of us a portion of her strength and courage. Each one of her children and grandchildren are a legacy to a woman who I was proud to call Granny, a woman who I never knew well enough, a woman who gave me my Dad, a woman who, I believe, is having a cup of really strong tea with the Lord and a woman, who when life gave her a challenge, accepted it and came out stronger.
I will miss my Granny, I will miss the short phone calls, because, as she always said, we can't talk long as they must be costing you a fortune...I will miss the beautiful Irish lilt in her scratchy voice, and I will miss the stories of all the ones she knew. I am thankful for having known her and I will remember to value hard work and when I give my word i will honor it. I will remember that God will hear my prayers.
I will remember Granny with joy, happiness and maybe a little sorrow.
I will remember Nora Diamond and I will tell my daughter about her because, my Granny was the kind of person worth knowing and remembering.
She was a good woman. A really good woman.

Still Alive...

2009-02-09T17:50:00.000-08:00

Hiya,

It's been too long and I'm crazy busy. Furiously cleaning like Jehu drove his chariot....My best friend in the whole world is coming in 2 weeks and my house looks like a tornado resides in it.

I guess having 3 dogs, a barbie obsessed kid and an injured hubby will do that!
I'm doing what I can. Today I spackled the holes that have a wall attached and repaired the hand railing in the stairwell that the RETARD who lived here before installed.

What a retard!

Instead of drilling into the 2X4 wall stud the RETARD drilled 2 wholes in the wall, filled it with epoxy then pushed (not drilled) the 3 inch screws through the holes. RETARD. Seriously? What a retard.

The more things we (I) have to repair in our new-ish home, the more I'm realizing that the previous owners where completely incapable of coming up with any kind of workable solution to general home repair. I mean, I'm not Mike Holmes (sigh) and I've never taken any courses on home repair, but who in the flaming hell uses a one inch accordion hose for the drain pipe under the kitchen sink? AND attaches it with one of those screwy/clamp thingy s!!!!! Jeez Freekin Louise!

We've been here 2 years in May, and I still haven't looked in the attic. I'm afraid of what I may find. One day I will conjure up the courage to get the ladder ('nother story all together) and poke my head through the ceiling....I might even shine the flashlight up there....

Right now I should be making dinner, but, I have a bedroom to clean, a floor to vaccum, and Guilder to frame for it....(Princess Bride Lovers will understand...)

Kendra's room looks pretty cool. I took down her pink closet curtains and hung them from the frame of her loft bed. God Bless the human that invented Velcro!!!

I Love how it gives the illusion of her room being clean....until you pull back the curtain...

Anyway, I've put in a full day, and now I'm gonna go make left overs.

Good bye, and get yourself a life!

To Dream the Impossible Dream...

2009-01-27T17:58:00.000-08:00

So, today I'm gonna talk about dogs. We have 3. Munch is the oldest and she is a lab, Sheppard/coyote mix. I've had her for 9 years so she's getting up there in age and is a little slow in the movement department. She has difficulty jumping up on the bed (which I'm happy about, fur and all.) and has some trouble high tailing it up the stairs. and in the melay that occurs when they are let out for the nitetime excursion, she whines and yelps while running down the stairs. So.'m thinking she's a little sore in the hips. i knew that this day was coming, but now that it's here, I'll just have to be a little more patient with her.
Those of you that know me well, understand what a great difficulty this will be as I have the patience of a gnat.
Bear is a rottweiler/retriever.Big, stupid, and stupid. He is the dog that violently pushed me down the stairs and broke my leg. I was laid up for 3 months and all this just 2 weeks before we had to move.
Bear feels that his place is on my side of the bed and every night when I get home from work, I have to shoo him off and I usually get growled at. Stupid dog. I think he has plans for me and they're not good ones.
That brings us to the latest addition, Aurthur. He is a pure bred black lab. We found him at a traveling carnival. The litter was an unapproved breeding and they couldn't get top dollar for them so they were selling them cheap.($400.00!!) Cheap my ass! Anyway, I made the big mistake of picking up and holding him. right away, he stuck his little head under my chin and started to snuggle right in. I should have tossed him back into the pick up but instead, I looked at Tom and gave him the " Isn't he sooooooooo cute" look. Next thing I knew Tom was handing over a wad of cash and we were walking around with this tiny little puppy.
11 months later, Aurthur is stupid #3. We have interchangeable name for all three of them. Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbest. All answer to any of the above as well as Stupid Ass, Dumb Ass, and Dumb as F**k. Stupid Freekin Dog usually gets good results. I figure, if we ever get another one, we won't have to give it an official name, we'll just include it in the Dumber than a bag of fur group.

So throught the years I've told dog eating through wall stories, dog eating hallway carpet stories, and dog eating and then pooping out brand new $89.00 french lace panties (complete with price tag)
Well today I come home to find, Aurthur has devoured a full container of Nestle Quick chocolate milk powder, Bear has chewed up something, but I can't find it and Munch has successfully vomited up the sock I've been looking for for the last couple of days.

I'm going to close my eyes and dream of a pet free place where I don't have to use a whole roll of tape to remove dog hair from my sweaters, where I can leave my shoes all over the house if I want, and I don't have to risk a broken leg to let a damn dog out in the middle of the night so it can piss and crap in the back yard.

I'm done. Done with dogs. and done with today's rant. If you'll excuse me, I have to go let the freeking dogs out....Good Bye and get a life, or a dog......

Festering sest pool of life...

2009-01-21T17:13:00.000-08:00

When you get tripped and fall face down in the shitty festering sest pool of life, the only thing to do is get up, wipe of the stink, locate the rage button and push the freekin hell out of it.

Now, if you find that your eyes are bulging and veins are popping, you're gonna need to vent.

Some solutions are as follows; slamming doors is good, but usually results in repairs, screaming at your loved ones, but then you'll need to grovel afterwards, swearing out loud a lot helps, but then you need to explain to your kid why you have outrageous potty mouth, exercising seems to be the best way to vent, you get rid of the negative vibes and you get your body in shape. I find that slipping on my pink boxing gloves and punching the shit out of by punching bag relieves quite a bite of tension. Whether it's stress from home, money, work, traffic, doesn't matter, the ability to exert negative energy to get a positive result seems like an odd thing to process, but it works.

It's really to bad that everyone near and far can't enable themselves with this enlightening tidbit.
Maybe if we all had gloves and bags the world would be a more congenial place and violence would be just speculative.

There will never be world peace, but if we all work hard enough, and endeavour to be better for ourselves, we might achieve peace, but on a more effective level. In our souls.

That's my collective wisdom for today...

Good night and value your life.

Icky, icky, puke breath...

2009-01-19T21:59:00.000-08:00

So, I'll keep this short, but I guarantee that it won't be sweet.

Last night my lovely little girl came into our bed, which is a regular occurrence.
I was trying to stay up late to get back into the graveyard swing. I had just fallen asleep around 1ish when she came into bed. So with me, Tom, Kendra, Bear, & Aurthur we all managed to find a 'comfy' spot to pass out in. Until, that is Kendra started grunting and moaning in pain. Then she started yelling that she had to puke.

There I am, in a sleep induced stupor, trying to carry my gagging child down the hall so she can hurl in the throne and not in the bed. Cuz, really, nobody likes changing the sheets at 4:08am.
All the while, thinking, "Can Tom not hear her??" Well, yes he could and he confessed earlier today that he watched me lumber to the door trying to make it to the bathroom whilst awkwardly carrying a flailing child on the verge of vomiting.

So after hours of puking and dry heaving, she finally fell asleep. Me and Tom, we stayed awake with the puke bucket at the ready just in case. Breathing in the lovely aroma of vomit breath every time she rolled over. Then it would be his turn and I would get the feet in the back. Hard to decide which one was worse...

He got up around 8ish?? and I tried to 'rest' until 11ish. All the while, Kendra was running around chasing the dog and acting like it was some other poor child puking their guts out for hours the night before.

One would think that she'd have a little compassion for her parents who watched over her the whole night and have a nap during the day so we could do the same. I know, I'm having delusions of grandeur.... They're mine to have. Leave me alone.

So, anyway, we put her to bed around 7pm tonight and she concocted 'bad dream' stories and hunger until 8:30 when I finally threatened her with certain shock treatment and beatings.(for those of you who think I would actually do such a thing...you're a moron.) She went back to bed and is now blissfully asleep until such a time as she isn't. Which could be any moment now......

So, I'm blogging and Tom is watching Star Trek the Wrath of Kahn. Again. Oh God. Please make it stop. He has watched this freekin movie at least 4 times in the last week. Right now Khan is doing something to the Genesis thingy and Spock has found an unknown energy source. "Scotty I need warp speed in 3 minutes or we're all dead....." Nobody does it like the Shatner!! Kill me....
Well, good night, and well, you,know, get a life.....

Elvis, Frank, Tits and Ass....

2009-01-16T12:47:00.000-08:00

Alright. Here's the low down on the dirty Vegas. The economy sucks. Nobody tips anymore and the service is given begrudgingly. The people are getting poorer and they have no hope but the obvious Mr. Obama.
He has a plan that includes tax breaks to business's that create jobs as well as the ever popular "spend money to make money".

I think he has a good plan.

After tipping a shuttle driver $2 for unloading our luggage, I was shocked when he shook my hand and said Thank you so much. He then told me that I was the only one who'd tipped him all day!

The kind lady that painted my toes pink almost cried when I gave her a 20 for a $75 dollar service. She had just had to sell her car because they couldn't afford to pay the monthly insurance. Her husband works a 12 hour day and then adds 2 more to drop her off and pick her up for her 'cut back' 3 days per week.

Vegas isn't what it was a few years ago, even a few months ago. The Vegas Strip staff no longer expect or take for granted that the visiting financial squanderers will automatically tip them.
They are genuinely showing gratitude for any tips they get.

I'll admit that I went down there with the false hope of coming home a bazzillionare. and the $800. that I did win paid for the trip. But when you look at the skeleton crew of wait staff, housekeeping and management, it's hard to be bouncy, bouncy, gloatish and ha ha-ish. These people are not the only ones suffering in the US economy. They have spouses, children and bills just like we do.

Don't get me wrong, I had a really fun time, throwing a 20 into $1 slot machine and coming away with $263, but that's $243 of someone Else's desperate dreams. I'm not desperate, (yet). I have a good job, survive in a double income family, and take advantage of every health benefit I can mail in.
I'll prob'ly go back to Vegas again, because, let's face it, that's where dreams seem real and hopes can stagger through the day washed down with a Bellini. Reality is an entity that is out of reach when you are in Vegas, and the unrealistic fantasies are so close you can taste them even without the Bellini.....

So moving on to a more....um...gleeful Vegas experience, it was mom's birthday on the 8 and we were hoping to espy Elvis. You know, Vegas... Jan 8. his bday.... Well, we saw 2 of them, one was real and the other was a statue. The statue looked better, so, we took pics there.

We didn't hear ANY Frank. not even in the casinos where, you'd think that he'd be blaring!!!

As for the T & A, well there was alot of that, and they weren't even on the stages! I guess the slogan 'what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" reaches it's quota daily...I thought that some of these little tartlets were late for there nightly production of "tarts are us", but they were just vacationing like me. Well, OK, not like me but they didn't work there.....or maybe they did......

I don't know, I just know that there was fun to be had and I had it. of course, I didn't get to go up on stage at the "Thunder" like someone else I know.....damn.

Anyway, I seemed to have ranted on long enough. I'll try to slap in some pics. Remember, I'm still new at this, so it could be a little messy....

Good bye, and ....get a life.

Bloggin' Virgin....

2009-01-15T20:46:00.000-08:00

Okay, so this is the very first time for me. Slow and easy with alot of reasurrence is the plan. We'll get into the hot and heavy stuff when I 've learned the ropes.

I have a couple of friends that 'blog' and I have shamefully 'peeked' a few times to see what is going on with them. It seems that everyone is living their lives according to the way they feel each day. So, here I am living my life the way I want. Is that Okay with you? By the way, when I ask questions like that, they are more than likely going to be rhetorical, so don't bother offering your opinion, I really don't want it.

Back to living.

Some things you might want to know about me, I am married to a wonderful man but you won't get to know anything about him cuz he doesn't want to be 'on the web'.( His name is Tom and we've been married for 3 years come March and we've put up with each other for 6 years.(as of today)) We have a daughter but you won't get to know anything about her cuz (Tom) doesn't want her on the web. For reasons that I agree with. Pervs and all. 25 cents at the hardware store and the problem is solved.

Anyhoo...

We have 3 dogs, Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbest, the names are interchangeable and cannot possibly protect the innocent. A cat named Pokey, I cannot take any credit there, thank God. I do not like cats. Hate is a more appropriate description of how I feel towards that creepy species.

I love to read, books, mags, wall art, street signs, you name it, I'll read it. within reason anyway.
Music, ya I like it. Just got the new Nickleback, LOVING that CD. and Pink, na na na na na na na..... a little angry but now adays, who isn't?
I have a job. 'nuff said.
Favorite vacation spot.....that would be Vegas. Just got back from there, had a good time with my mom. She had a better time than me at the 'Thunder" though. but I won 800 bucks. thhbbbt.
I like to cook, but enjoy it more when Tom does the cooking. He's pretty good to.

I s'pose that you are reading this cuz I've sent you a little thing that says I have a blog....ya hoo. and you want the low down and dirty. but sorry to disappoint, I'll prob'ly be one of those freekin' boring moms that just blather on and on about the things of the day like dishes, laundry, housework, traffic....
Bullshit. I'll spew all sorts of naughty, juicy,eyebrow raising tidbits that'll just make you come back for more.

I won't post recipes or info on how to get wine stains out of your blouse, carpet, bedsheets etc. There's a simple explanation for those anyway, "Oh my! is that red wine in your carpet, blouse, bed sheet etc?" You could reply with a delicate "um.. yes, I didn't have any club soda handy..." Or you could just say something like "Yes it is, and your not gonna believe the kind of chandelier swinging sex we had that night." Usually shuts people up.

So, if your reading this and looking for something tasteful, demure, sugar coated and polite. Well, you're freekin' lost and need to go back to your 'home page'.

Please feel free to read this drivel but remember that you're the one who came here, if you're offended by what you read; tough shit. grow a pair or leave.

This is me living my live the way I want to. I have my beliefs and I am not interested in yours. I will not be swayed so don't even try. I am accountable to God, my family, and the people I give a damn about. And just maybe, you could be one of them.

I can't promise that I'll yammer everyday cuz I do have a life. but I'll try to keep you in the loop, whoever the hell you are.

Oh yeah, so what the HELL was up with Ryan Seacrest???? Hello??? the guy is blind. Hey Ryan, I'm hi five'n ya!!! Oh ya that's right. you can't see me! Dumb ass.

And for those of you that care, Go Obama Go!!!

Well, Tom is wondering where the hell I am and I can't think of anything else to say, so, good night and get a life.