Christmas...bah humbug.

I have a few minutes today...about 12 to be exact. I'm power backing pre-fab cookies. You know, the ones you buy in a box from the school fund raisers and just toss them on the pan and bake.
Ya, I loooove those ones! about 10 minutes left now, so today I took the kid to see Tangled, that was an awesome movie. then we went and got Tom his Christmas present, a couple new ornaments for the tree and slammed a few trays of pre-fabs into the oven. Made a variety of cookies, choco chip, Blondies, Craisin pecan, macadamia nut and choco chip, shortbread with melted chocolate on top...hmmm the house smells yum.ee.

Closing in on the end of Christmas shopping, Christmas card out in the mail, special Christmas presents getting made....no, I'm not telling...hinting at the bling I would be honored to receive this Christmas....and happy that I don't have to cook Christmas dinner, OK. I never have to cook Christmas dinner cuz Tom does that. I know, I'm a lucky bitch...

Looks like I'm down to 6 minutes...

I here the bedtime instructions being bellowed from afar, but not far enough. "Brush your teeth, Go pee, Get your PJ's on!!" "Now"... ahh, serenity at last. Now some me time and a couple movies before I have to get back into school mode. Open book in the morning and final on Wed... Only a month and a half left.... its gone by really fast and I'm having a good time. I feel good about going back to school.

All the dumbass losers who have given me a hard time about going back to school; Well, they can kiss my big white edjumucated ass. I'm not going to be stuck without a back up plan. ooh. There goes the dinger thingy on the baker thingyjig. that means the pre-fabs are done. Gotta go and slap 'em into a boxy thingy.

Here's wishing that Santa is good to you and there's something shiny and expensive under the tree or in your stocking this year!

Have a fantastic Christmas, and New Year!!!

Merry Christmas you two!

Why I believe in Santa Clause

This is an assignment that I have to read in front of my law class tomorrow. I thought that it might interest one of the two of you that read my blog...

Merry Christmas and step. away. from the fruitcake!

Why I believe in Santa Clause, by Jennifer Dether

In Ancient Egypt, they believed in a God/Man Savior named Osiris, who died on December 21. In Ancient Rome they believed in the festival of Saturnalia celebrating the planet Saturn. In Ancient Greece’ they believed in the winter solstice ritual of “The Festival of the Wild Woman” which involved the sacrificing of goats. In Buddhism, they believe that the Buddha achieved enlightenment under a tree because he pondered the ignorant hardships of man for 8 days prior to the Sunday nearest December 8. In Christianity they believe in the virgin birth of Jesus, the Savior of the world. In Druidism, they believe in magic and transformation through the death of the old sun and the birth of the dark side of the year. In Neopaganism or Wicca they believe in the ritual that celebrates the ancient Celtic beliefs of the changing of the seasons.

These are only a few of the many different holiday beliefs throughout the world. Although I find credibility and interest in a few and one that I stand firm on, I do forever believe that Santa is real. I know it because every year I hear the sleigh bell over the roof. And every year, I see my daughters face light up with glee and delight at all the lights and sounds of Christmas. I believe for her and I believe for me. And I believe for the simple fact that I can.

Santa Clause is the embodiment of all that is joyous and fun and believing in him is easy. He doesn’t expect us to sit under a tree and ponder the wayward path of man, or dance naked in the woods, or kill tennis shoe eating goats. Santa only asks that we try to be good little kids all year round and if we are, then we wake up one wintry hot chocolaty morning to find our living room filled with goodies and a pancake breakfast with bacon on the dining room table.

If one by one we stop believing in Santa, then bit by bit, he will lose his Christmas magic. If we believe in Santa, he is real. It is the belief in him that makes him real.

Keeping that belief as an adult is hard because of the mocking and ridicule from non believers. So as a family we do things that make believing in Santa easier for us. One of the things we do to make our Christmas special is decorating as early as Tom will allow. Kendra and I sometimes make cheap ass cookies and then we immediately eat them all leaving the broken ones for Tom. Every year I get a ginger bread house for Kendra and me to decorate. So that it can sit regally on the dining room table getting picked at until it’s too hard to eat and all the good stuff is gone. Then we unceremoniously huck it in the garbage can; usually with someone yelling “Oh wait!! There’s a smartie!” Tom sets up the tree in the fireplace corner and Kendra and I put on all the glitter and baubles. There is a story for every decoration and every year I tell that story to her again as we hang them on the tree. Then on Christmas Eve, we put out a plate of cookies and carrots and a big glass of milk for Santa.

And of course, every year I tell my favorite Christmas joke. Repeatedly. “Did you know there was a fourth wise man? Yep. He was turned away for bringing fruitcake.”

Merry Christmas Everyone and Happy Holidays!

JeniKen's Jewels

Here is my brand spankin' new website. It's so new that there isn't anything on it yet!

jenikensjewels.webs.com

When I'm done, you will find everyday, every wear jewelry. Priced to sell, starting from $15.00 each.

Stuff that you can buy for your kids, and stuff that you can wear with your jeans, shorts and tanks, beach outfit, or nothing at all......

Easy going, sometimes edgy, but always everyday.

Available to you online or at home. I will be branching out to HomeParties, Farmers Markets and mall kiosks.

Christmas is coming, and I will be up and running full steam ahead! I am building my merchandise so if you would like anything before then, send me a message or email and we'll go from there!

Looking forward to Bringin' the Bling!

Jennifer

Unemployed in Greenland????

Too bad there aren't any short, crazy Sicilian's running around yelling "Inconceivable!".
'Cuz I could really use a job.

I've been off since March with a bum shoulder, but the reality is, my days as a journeyman mailer are numbered....and I'm thinking 1 or 2 years....if a miracle occurs.

I had amp'ed myself up today and spent the last 3 hours online looking at workopolis.ca and wowjobs.ca and anything I could look at, including this thing about working from home making money online....hmmm. Right. It seemed pretty legit until you go to fill out the form and find that you need your credit card to pay $49.95 US to some guy named Richard Allan. Who will send you a packet and DVD's the very next day via FEDEX so you can get to earning your $1000.00 or more per week!!!
So, needless to say, I did not order the packet cuz I need my $49.95 to buy gas...and I'm thinking how I can go about getting people to give me $49.95....

Still thinking....

Um...

Got nothing, well, nothing ethical anyway, and therein lies the rub. I have morals. Integrity. Honor.
I can't just create something that'll have international suckers handing me money with their eyes wide shut. How would I sleep at night?

The bottom line is, I'm S.O.L. and at 40 years of age, it's not going to be easy finding another career. My husband is probably not going to be able to work again and that makes me the bread winner, the bacon bringer, the cheddar chaser.

What to do, what to do?

I'm not really crafty, so I can't knit an afghan or tat a table cloth to sell at a craft fair. I don't care if you buy a certain product, get the one that works for you. So I'll never be in sales. My ass is too big to be hanging down on Davie St. and um, eew, and other peoples kids should be tended to by other people. So, daycare is out. WAY out.

The fact that I have even given these options slight consideration speaks to my desperation.

I'd like to get into tourism, maybe be a travel agent. Maybe I could be a dental hygienist. All this takes education, which I would have to touch up on, and that takes money. Which I don't have.

I could probably make and sell cheap ass jewelry online thru this blog, but my mom makes beautiful stuff and I think that might be an issue...maybe, maybe not.

Either way, I'm going to have to come up with something, because, the end of the tunnel is near, but there ain't no light.

Somewhere, there is a solution, but I think I have the wrong map, cuz, there ain't no treasure where I'm digging and I'm running out of fuel, energy, and lives....

I'll do what I can for now, and that includes getting off my ass and making dinner tonight.

What was it that Vissini said? Go back to the beginning? Well, I am at the beginning. So save your Ho there!

Inconceivable!

Twitter-bug?!?!?!

OK, so I've been bitten by the Twitter Bug.

I know, I know, and yes, I 'follow' the gang, Ellen, Ashton, Family Circle, I am awaiting with baited breath for the very next thing that doll face Ashton thumbs into his cell....Not only do I have SOOOOO much time on my hands but now, I can fill it with the mundane and jovial rantings of the rich and famous.

As for me, I am turning in a new direction. I have made a commitment to my body that I will not be that 400lb woman that is trucked into the local ER cuz I got a hernia looking for the waffle that I dropped.

Just for the record, I don't like waffles.

Anyway, I have started on a new path of most resistance and look forward to the day that I can run with my daughter and not have the richter scale sending out SOS's to the powers that be, y'know, them, that are they.

I am not going to put my current poundage here, suffice it to say I'm prob'ly bigger'n you.

I can tell that I have already off loaded a couple of roasts and maybe a loaf of Italian bread, So, things are looking Outstanding. Woo Hoot for me!!!

I love that things may be changing in various aspects of my life. and as they do, I'll be sure to blather on and on about them. Hopefully, by taking charge of my life, it will influence someone else to do the same for themselves.

That's all for today 'cuz I've got weight to toss, people to see, money to spend and places to be!

Until next time!!!

Without the sticky...

I'm back again for another dose of who the hell cares.

Today I woke up, could hardly move, my body was so sore. Tom bought one of those memory foam mattress covers, because, you know, he has a bad back.

If you LOVE LOVE LOVE a soft, sink till you smother yourself bed, then memory foam is for you. If, however, you are like me and you LOVE LOVE LOVE a firmer 'terrafirma' on which to lay your weary head then DO NOT I repeat DO NOT buy the memory foam mattress topper thingy.

Ever see a beached whale try to flip itself over? No? Well, close your eyes and imagine; Soft brown sand, wavy ocean, struggling fat ass whale grunting and swearing in the futile effort to roll over.... There, see it? Ya, well, put my face on it and you've got the whole sordid picture now.

I really can't express how *$&p;Q#@* frustrating it is to move into any *$@$@#&; position while laying on that damn thing.

It was like being stuck in a huge wad of gum without the sticky and just trying to get my arm under myself to push up...in-freekin-possible. To roll over I had to put my hands under my well endowed ass, hold my breath, count to 3 or 5 or 10...and shove with all that I could muster at Damn o'clock in the morning.

Sitting up now, I have to swing my ass left/right, but each ass cheek is firmly molded to the freekin mattress and every time I move I just "WEDGE" (that's right, I said it!) my ass into the memory foam further. Seriously, WHO the HELL needs an imprint of their ass wedged into MEMORY foam? EVER! I'd like to forget my ass, thank you very much.

Anyway, so now I'm on the other side (of hell) and my PJ's are all twisted around me and I'm thinking, "Is it really worth all the aggravation of getting up and settling myself again?" Sure, I'll give it a go, cuz I REALLY HATE my clothes twisted all up.

Swear, push, grunt, up. Twist, twist, climb, lay down.....swear, send evil glare towards snoring husband, look up at the ceiling, remember that I wanted to be on MY RIGHT SIDE!!!!! a n d swear a whole lot more.

Throw minor silent temper tantrum and eventually fall asleep. Just in time to be woken up by the kid. Excellent. Now I have to move over... ya right...foot push one of the dogs for some space, give the kid pillow room, make sure kid is not jamming her size 12's into hubby's back, watch said kid swiftly fall into blissful REM sleep and contemplate the pro's and con's of climbing up into her loft bed....ya, um, n e v e r going to happen.



So I lay there, and lay there, listening to the sounds of night time delight....did you know that a pug can snore so bloody loud that that bed will actually vibrate? In tandem. With the snoring. Incessantly. It'll go on and on and on and on and on. You can't wake a pug either. No way. I've tried EVERY thing-short of smothering her with a pillow......that's reserved for someone special...you know who you are.

Right now I am trying to decide if I should go to bed, or stay up all night to avoid the inevitable struggle with that damn mattress thing.

What to do, what to do.......

Looked at this web site mom emailed me today, thepioneerwomancooks.com. I think that tomorrow I'm going to make this chicks apple dumplings. Never had those before. Not to keen on the Mountain dew part tho...

I'll let you all know how they turned out. It's got mountain dew in the recipe, so I don't think I could screw them up...much...

OK, here goes....off to freekin never never land....

Who the hell has the time???

Spend the entire day baking? Right. I read the blog of a past friend, we don't really keep in touch anymore, but I really enjoyed the friendship we had.

Anyway, she has a tribe full of children and a full time life yet still manages to spend the day baking with her kids. Does she have a maid? A secret little army of genies that give her more hours than I have?

Grrr. I am not bitter, I am amazed. There must be a sacrifice in there somewhere...her looks? No, she's gorgeous, her hair? Nope, Looks good to me. Her sex life? Ermmm, still popping out kids, so I'm thinking, no.

How does she do it? Not only does she bake and cook but the recipes are not of a 'normal' nature. Some of her kids have allergies and the family is very health conscience so they eat a lot of vegan and organic stuff.

I used to think I wasn't a great mom because I would compare myself to her and all that she does, but then I decided to assess my situation in relation to hers.

1) Her kids are older and can do more on their own.
2) Her husband doesn't have a full time disability.
3) She doesn't work graveyard shift.
4) She has lots of family near that can come by and lend a hand.
5) Her life is completely different than mine, and not at all comparable.

So this was my conclusion.

I am a great mom, a great wife, and a great employee. I have time enough to spend with my kid, take the dogs for a walk, hang with the hubby, throw something together for dinner, get some laundry done and run the vacuum over the floor. If the shirts don't get hung up, well, they don't get hung up. If dinner involves the phone and a menu, then so what, more time for the family. If having a date with my husband involves an old movie, bowl of pop corn and the remote, then all the better for me, I don't have to get out of my PJ's.

My life isn't ever going to be that of a stay home mom. Our circumstances dictate that I will be the one 'bringing home the paycheck'. As a result, our daughter has been very blessed in that she has grown up with Dad around, more than the average kid. Yes, it sucks that Tom has a bad back, but in the same respect, it doesn't suck that he is home all the time.

So, all the moms out there that get to stay home and bake umpteen loaves of bread and trays upon trays of cookies, I salute you on equal ground. My island has different paths, but it's still in the middle of the ocean.

On the rare occasion that I have any free time to myself, I am usually here, on the computer. I'm not really into 'spa days' and all that self pampering stuff. If I want pink toes, Kendra and I will get out the 'toebox' and rummage around for the colors we want and spend some time watching Harry and his bucket full of Dinosaurs and painting each others toes. Much more rewarding than spending $80.00 in a salon all by myself...but of course, if Tom gets me a gift certificate, then I'll use it...

I hear people talk all the time about 'me time', "mommy time', 'take care of yourself first'...blah, blah, blah. I would much rather be with my family than all by myself staring at the ceiling in the tub till the water gets cold. I really like my husband. So, for me, 'mommy time', 'me time' taking care of myself time', its all in surrounding myself with my family.

I think that as much as I complain about 3 dogs and a cat being on the bed with us during a family movie night, I don't think I'd change it. (OK, maybe not the dog hair part...) Being surrounded by love is the best 'me time' there is.

So, tomorrow, I think I'll pull a box of pre-fab cookies out of the freezer and Kendra can put them on the tray. While she's doing that, I'll go kiss my husband, feed the pug, and hang up the jacket on the exercise bike, all in time to toss the tray into the oven and hang with the kid.

Stay tuned for more riveting updates in the never ending saga of the life of Jennifer. Will she bring out the bread maker? or will she make a mad dash for the nearest bakery?

I'll tell you what, THE 2 OF YOU THAT ARE ACTUALLY reading this, YOU decide and get your friends in on this too. If I get 20 people to tell me if they want me to bake a loaf of bread or buy it, then I'll do the majority, and I'll blog about it and even post pictures. I know, I know, I need more 'mommy time'....
Hey, It's something to do right? Next time it might be more interesting, maybe even more daring......
C'mon, aren't you even just a little bit curious??????