To Dream the Impossible Dream...

So, today I'm gonna talk about dogs. We have 3. Munch is the oldest and she is a lab, Sheppard/coyote mix. I've had her for 9 years so she's getting up there in age and is a little slow in the movement department. She has difficulty jumping up on the bed (which I'm happy about, fur and all.) and has some trouble high tailing it up the stairs. and in the melay that occurs when they are let out for the nitetime excursion, she whines and yelps while running down the stairs. So.'m thinking she's a little sore in the hips. i knew that this day was coming, but now that it's here, I'll just have to be a little more patient with her.
Those of you that know me well, understand what a great difficulty this will be as I have the patience of a gnat.
Bear is a rottweiler/retriever.Big, stupid, and stupid. He is the dog that violently pushed me down the stairs and broke my leg. I was laid up for 3 months and all this just 2 weeks before we had to move.
Bear feels that his place is on my side of the bed and every night when I get home from work, I have to shoo him off and I usually get growled at. Stupid dog. I think he has plans for me and they're not good ones.
That brings us to the latest addition, Aurthur. He is a pure bred black lab. We found him at a traveling carnival. The litter was an unapproved breeding and they couldn't get top dollar for them so they were selling them cheap.($400.00!!) Cheap my ass! Anyway, I made the big mistake of picking up and holding him. right away, he stuck his little head under my chin and started to snuggle right in. I should have tossed him back into the pick up but instead, I looked at Tom and gave him the " Isn't he sooooooooo cute" look. Next thing I knew Tom was handing over a wad of cash and we were walking around with this tiny little puppy.
11 months later, Aurthur is stupid #3. We have interchangeable name for all three of them. Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbest. All answer to any of the above as well as Stupid Ass, Dumb Ass, and Dumb as F**k. Stupid Freekin Dog usually gets good results. I figure, if we ever get another one, we won't have to give it an official name, we'll just include it in the Dumber than a bag of fur group.

So throught the years I've told dog eating through wall stories, dog eating hallway carpet stories, and dog eating and then pooping out brand new $89.00 french lace panties (complete with price tag)
Well today I come home to find, Aurthur has devoured a full container of Nestle Quick chocolate milk powder, Bear has chewed up something, but I can't find it and Munch has successfully vomited up the sock I've been looking for for the last couple of days.

I'm going to close my eyes and dream of a pet free place where I don't have to use a whole roll of tape to remove dog hair from my sweaters, where I can leave my shoes all over the house if I want, and I don't have to risk a broken leg to let a damn dog out in the middle of the night so it can piss and crap in the back yard.

I'm done. Done with dogs. and done with today's rant. If you'll excuse me, I have to go let the freeking dogs out....Good Bye and get a life, or a dog......

Festering sest pool of life...

When you get tripped and fall face down in the shitty festering sest pool of life, the only thing to do is get up, wipe of the stink, locate the rage button and push the freekin hell out of it.

Now, if you find that your eyes are bulging and veins are popping, you're gonna need to vent.

Some solutions are as follows; slamming doors is good, but usually results in repairs, screaming at your loved ones, but then you'll need to grovel afterwards, swearing out loud a lot helps, but then you need to explain to your kid why you have outrageous potty mouth, exercising seems to be the best way to vent, you get rid of the negative vibes and you get your body in shape. I find that slipping on my pink boxing gloves and punching the shit out of by punching bag relieves quite a bite of tension. Whether it's stress from home, money, work, traffic, doesn't matter, the ability to exert negative energy to get a positive result seems like an odd thing to process, but it works.

It's really to bad that everyone near and far can't enable themselves with this enlightening tidbit.
Maybe if we all had gloves and bags the world would be a more congenial place and violence would be just speculative.

There will never be world peace, but if we all work hard enough, and endeavour to be better for ourselves, we might achieve peace, but on a more effective level. In our souls.

That's my collective wisdom for today...

Good night and value your life.

Icky, icky, puke breath...

So, I'll keep this short, but I guarantee that it won't be sweet.

Last night my lovely little girl came into our bed, which is a regular occurrence.
I was trying to stay up late to get back into the graveyard swing. I had just fallen asleep around 1ish when she came into bed. So with me, Tom, Kendra, Bear, & Aurthur we all managed to find a 'comfy' spot to pass out in. Until, that is Kendra started grunting and moaning in pain. Then she started yelling that she had to puke.

There I am, in a sleep induced stupor, trying to carry my gagging child down the hall so she can hurl in the throne and not in the bed. Cuz, really, nobody likes changing the sheets at 4:08am.
All the while, thinking, "Can Tom not hear her??" Well, yes he could and he confessed earlier today that he watched me lumber to the door trying to make it to the bathroom whilst awkwardly carrying a flailing child on the verge of vomiting.

So after hours of puking and dry heaving, she finally fell asleep. Me and Tom, we stayed awake with the puke bucket at the ready just in case. Breathing in the lovely aroma of vomit breath every time she rolled over. Then it would be his turn and I would get the feet in the back. Hard to decide which one was worse...

He got up around 8ish?? and I tried to 'rest' until 11ish. All the while, Kendra was running around chasing the dog and acting like it was some other poor child puking their guts out for hours the night before.

One would think that she'd have a little compassion for her parents who watched over her the whole night and have a nap during the day so we could do the same. I know, I'm having delusions of grandeur.... They're mine to have. Leave me alone.

So, anyway, we put her to bed around 7pm tonight and she concocted 'bad dream' stories and hunger until 8:30 when I finally threatened her with certain shock treatment and beatings.(for those of you who think I would actually do such a thing...you're a moron.) She went back to bed and is now blissfully asleep until such a time as she isn't. Which could be any moment now......

So, I'm blogging and Tom is watching Star Trek the Wrath of Kahn. Again. Oh God. Please make it stop. He has watched this freekin movie at least 4 times in the last week. Right now Khan is doing something to the Genesis thingy and Spock has found an unknown energy source. "Scotty I need warp speed in 3 minutes or we're all dead....." Nobody does it like the Shatner!! Kill me....
Well, good night, and well, you,know, get a life.....

Elvis, Frank, Tits and Ass....

Alright. Here's the low down on the dirty Vegas. The economy sucks. Nobody tips anymore and the service is given begrudgingly. The people are getting poorer and they have no hope but the obvious Mr. Obama.
He has a plan that includes tax breaks to business's that create jobs as well as the ever popular "spend money to make money".

I think he has a good plan.

After tipping a shuttle driver $2 for unloading our luggage, I was shocked when he shook my hand and said Thank you so much. He then told me that I was the only one who'd tipped him all day!

The kind lady that painted my toes pink almost cried when I gave her a 20 for a $75 dollar service. She had just had to sell her car because they couldn't afford to pay the monthly insurance. Her husband works a 12 hour day and then adds 2 more to drop her off and pick her up for her 'cut back' 3 days per week.

Vegas isn't what it was a few years ago, even a few months ago. The Vegas Strip staff no longer expect or take for granted that the visiting financial squanderers will automatically tip them.
They are genuinely showing gratitude for any tips they get.

I'll admit that I went down there with the false hope of coming home a bazzillionare. and the $800. that I did win paid for the trip. But when you look at the skeleton crew of wait staff, housekeeping and management, it's hard to be bouncy, bouncy, gloatish and ha ha-ish. These people are not the only ones suffering in the US economy. They have spouses, children and bills just like we do.

Don't get me wrong, I had a really fun time, throwing a 20 into $1 slot machine and coming away with $263, but that's $243 of someone Else's desperate dreams. I'm not desperate, (yet). I have a good job, survive in a double income family, and take advantage of every health benefit I can mail in.
I'll prob'ly go back to Vegas again, because, let's face it, that's where dreams seem real and hopes can stagger through the day washed down with a Bellini. Reality is an entity that is out of reach when you are in Vegas, and the unrealistic fantasies are so close you can taste them even without the Bellini.....

So moving on to a more....um...gleeful Vegas experience, it was mom's birthday on the 8 and we were hoping to espy Elvis. You know, Vegas... Jan 8. his bday.... Well, we saw 2 of them, one was real and the other was a statue. The statue looked better, so, we took pics there.

We didn't hear ANY Frank. not even in the casinos where, you'd think that he'd be blaring!!!

As for the T & A, well there was alot of that, and they weren't even on the stages! I guess the slogan 'what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" reaches it's quota daily...I thought that some of these little tartlets were late for there nightly production of "tarts are us", but they were just vacationing like me. Well, OK, not like me but they didn't work there.....or maybe they did......

I don't know, I just know that there was fun to be had and I had it. of course, I didn't get to go up on stage at the "Thunder" like someone else I know.....damn.


Anyway, I seemed to have ranted on long enough. I'll try to slap in some pics. Remember, I'm still new at this, so it could be a little messy....

Good bye, and ....get a life.

Bloggin' Virgin....

Okay, so this is the very first time for me. Slow and easy with alot of reasurrence is the plan. We'll get into the hot and heavy stuff when I 've learned the ropes.

I have a couple of friends that 'blog' and I have shamefully 'peeked' a few times to see what is going on with them. It seems that everyone is living their lives according to the way they feel each day. So, here I am living my life the way I want. Is that Okay with you? By the way, when I ask questions like that, they are more than likely going to be rhetorical, so don't bother offering your opinion, I really don't want it.

Back to living.

Some things you might want to know about me, I am married to a wonderful man but you won't get to know anything about him cuz he doesn't want to be 'on the web'.( His name is Tom and we've been married for 3 years come March and we've put up with each other for 6 years.(as of today)) We have a daughter but you won't get to know anything about her cuz (Tom) doesn't want her on the web. For reasons that I agree with. Pervs and all. 25 cents at the hardware store and the problem is solved.

Anyhoo...

We have 3 dogs, Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbest, the names are interchangeable and cannot possibly protect the innocent. A cat named Pokey, I cannot take any credit there, thank God. I do not like cats. Hate is a more appropriate description of how I feel towards that creepy species.

I love to read, books, mags, wall art, street signs, you name it, I'll read it. within reason anyway.
Music, ya I like it. Just got the new Nickleback, LOVING that CD. and Pink, na na na na na na na..... a little angry but now adays, who isn't?
I have a job. 'nuff said.
Favorite vacation spot.....that would be Vegas. Just got back from there, had a good time with my mom. She had a better time than me at the 'Thunder" though. but I won 800 bucks. thhbbbt.
I like to cook, but enjoy it more when Tom does the cooking. He's pretty good to.

I s'pose that you are reading this cuz I've sent you a little thing that says I have a blog....ya hoo. and you want the low down and dirty. but sorry to disappoint, I'll prob'ly be one of those freekin' boring moms that just blather on and on about the things of the day like dishes, laundry, housework, traffic....
Bullshit. I'll spew all sorts of naughty, juicy,eyebrow raising tidbits that'll just make you come back for more.

I won't post recipes or info on how to get wine stains out of your blouse, carpet, bedsheets etc. There's a simple explanation for those anyway, "Oh my! is that red wine in your carpet, blouse, bed sheet etc?" You could reply with a delicate "um.. yes, I didn't have any club soda handy..." Or you could just say something like "Yes it is, and your not gonna believe the kind of chandelier swinging sex we had that night." Usually shuts people up.

So, if your reading this and looking for something tasteful, demure, sugar coated and polite. Well, you're freekin' lost and need to go back to your 'home page'.

Please feel free to read this drivel but remember that you're the one who came here, if you're offended by what you read; tough shit. grow a pair or leave.

This is me living my live the way I want to. I have my beliefs and I am not interested in yours. I will not be swayed so don't even try. I am accountable to God, my family, and the people I give a damn about. And just maybe, you could be one of them.

I can't promise that I'll yammer everyday cuz I do have a life. but I'll try to keep you in the loop, whoever the hell you are.

Oh yeah, so what the HELL was up with Ryan Seacrest???? Hello??? the guy is blind. Hey Ryan, I'm hi five'n ya!!! Oh ya that's right. you can't see me! Dumb ass.

And for those of you that care, Go Obama Go!!!

Well, Tom is wondering where the hell I am and I can't think of anything else to say, so, good night and get a life.